Flash of Spirit

It may not be the world’s most serious condition, but if you are feeling scattered these days, or perhaps every day, it gets you down.

Because I work with sensitive people, intuitive and empathic folks, the question of being too frazzled, too “A.D.D.” to get things done, arises frequently. These people are smarter than average, nicer than normal, more gifted and intuitive than most of us, but they struggle with time, details, tasks, priorities and planning.

The process of attending to the tasks you wish to address is something I call Smooth Focus. It is the ability to be present, to be real, and to dig into something when you wish to, instead of feeling like a random electron bouncing off the walls.  Many of my clients have tried these steps and found them useful. Here are a few well-tested interventions in Smooth Focus you can try.  See if they help you feel more settled.

1. Delayed Tasks Create Heightened Charge. Recognize that when you sit down to a task you have been avoiding, or even one that you have been forced to carve time out to tackle, the first thing you may experience is a heightened charge. You may feel electrified, anxious or like you are vibrating too fast. You may feel an overwhelming urge to get up and do something else. A thousand possible alternatives leap to the mind. You fantasize about cleaning out the garage, walking the dog or searching online for someone you have not spoken to in 15 years. In the face of this vibrating change, it seems like now would be a good time to jump up and do one of those other things.

Here is what is happening. In the first several minutes of tackling a delayed task, you have opened a door and the accumulated feelings and expectations associated with that task are coming at you like a freight train. If you can hang on, it will smooth out in a few minutes. But sensitives and empaths often believe that the way they feel at any moment is the way they are going to continue to feel. In response to the overwhelming charge that occurs when we approach a delayed task, even the most strong-minded among us dash off to do something else because we feel we may explode into spontaneous human combustion.

2. Breathe away the charge. If you find yourself with a rush of electricity in the face of tackling a focused task, use your breathing to ground yourself. Like a marathon runner, breath in through your nose and out smoothly through slightly pursed lips. Match this breath with the intention to slow down internally and smooth out your pace.

We have an acquired fear of thinking slowly and methodically, these days, as though we will be left behind if we actually sit still and work without drama. You may also want to create a little affirmation for yourself: “I can be still enough to do this,” “It is safe for me to do this,” “I can do other things at another time; right now, this is my time to focus on this task.”

3. Deliberately do one thing at a time. The idea of doing one thing, finishing it, and then selecting the next most important thing is like torture to some of us. Yet, many people tell me their morning flies by in a round robin of unfinished tasks as they ricochet from one thing to the next; each thing they pick up stimulates them and triggers a thought of something else. We joke about this, blaming age, frantic stress, hormones or cell phones. But this is not our natural way of being.

If you find yourself with the ricochet pattern, dare yourself to do one thing and not to waver from it until it is completed. Note how many times your mind comes up with an alternative and how automatically you start to put down what is in your hand to go do something else. You may have to resist the “go” impulse a dozen times before your task is completed.

It is not the case that multitasking is a sin, or that doing one thing at a time is more spiritual – the point is this: if we have become incapable of doing one thing at a time, then something is out of whack. Use some of your tasks as meditations and exercises in mindfulness. Start, proceed, let go of the flicker of alternatives that dance through your mind, and finish! Then, and only then, move on to the next big thing. If you can master this process, you will begin to free yourself from feeling scattered and overwhelmed.

4. Reward yourself for Smooth Focus. When you are able to smoothly focus upon and complete what you choose to engage in, then reward yourself for learning how to operate your own controls. At the back of our love affair/addiction with the frantic mode is our hidden wish for enhanced control and choice.

Once your subconscious mind recognizes that matching the focus to the task actually gives you more control and more choice, the inner anxiety-maker will start to let you off the hook. Completing tasks on time, without fear and drama is not a radical move on your part. It is going to be okay. This is a skill, nothing more and nothing less. Learning it is positive because you then have more options in your life and you will become more free. Do something nice for yourself after you engage in smooth focus practice. Soon it will be easier and you will be pleased to find that your modes of focus are far more under your control than you had imagined.

Good luck to you!

We all have moments of euphoria when we take up a challenge or respond to our calling. Most of us have moments of discouragement along the way. The ups and downs are sometimes quite predictable:  I call them the way of the initiate because they are like villages along the path of destiny. Some are heavenly and some are horrible, but seeing them as part of a larger pattern allows you to trust your decision instead of worrying that these are “signs that you should turn back.”

Questioning yourself or your purpose is not the answer.

Maintain your own authority and discernment: these ideas are not meant to limit you, but rather to give you a sense of the territory through which you may travel. Here are the stages you may encounter as you take up the challenge of living your purpose.

1. The Threshold: You know you are meant to do something special, but you don’t see how it can happen. It feels as if you are waiting for someone to recognize you are gifted and invite you to participate in the life you were meant to live. It is a time of longing and uncertainty. You have heard the call, felt the pull, looked at the possibility and you are unsure. The secret of the threshold is that nothing will happen until you say “yes.” Decide to decide.

2. The Crossing: This is a place of euphoric agreement. You have decided that regardless of what it takes or what it means, you will accept your path and move forward. You sign up for school, you begin writing your book, you accept a new job, or rent an office. This is like falling in love – it feels like the heavens open up and everything falls into place. There is a rush of synchronicity and many things go your way! Indeed, you have changed tracks, and things are rearranging themselves just for you. The secret of the crossing is that the celebration or honeymoon is not that important. You must focus on the learning, growing and understanding the work.

3. The Disillusionment: After the bliss of The Crossing, this phase comes like a sucker punch. How could anyone be mean to a radiant being like you? How could clients be manipulative, why would anyone bounce a check, why don’t family members understand your mission? The Crossing leads us to expect that following our bliss will be … blissful, and not feel like work. It is at this point that many folks cancel their ticket and go home, not because they lack the right stuff inside, but because we have been mislead regarding what to expect. Seekers are particularly prone to worrying that a string of nasty surprises means you are on the wrong track. But if you are in the phase of disillusionment, it is simply a stopping place on the way of the initiate. It is a crummy phase, but a phase nonetheless. If you find yourself feeling a little queasy about your path, put off and not liking it anymore, or if you wonder why on earth you ever wanted to help people, you are here! The secret of the disillusionment is that there is almost always a passage that really sucks as you enter the “work” of the path you have chosen. It will not always be so awful, and if you roll with it and keep your sense of humor, it will get wonderful again fairly soon.

4. The Refinement: In this phase, you have let go of the illusion of being in your own movie, and you have weathered the blows during the phase of disillusionment. Now you are getting down to what is real for you. You have also gained some understanding of your true gifts within the area that you have chosen. You have turned out to be freakishly good at something you did not expect. You have come to realize that the thing you envisioned doing might not be quite the right fit, but at least it got you over the threshold and into the thick of it. During the refinement, you begin to get real traction and begin to see your impact and contribution. The sense of “rightness” returns and you are settling down. The secret of the refinement is taking this opportunity to create systems and procedures that will support your work. You may even turn away some work because you’ve learned what does and does not fit. Sculpt your path and trust your judgment.

5. The Climb: During this phase, there is nothing but work. You seem not to be getting anywhere, and you feel like you are slowly climbing Mt. Everest. During the climb, people begin to ache. They are tired, they are far from a sense of completion, and they seriously underestimated the arduousness of what they have taken on. You find yourself numbly thinking: If I had known how much work this was going to be, I would never have done it! But now, halfway up the side of a mountain, you really can’t quit. This is a different kind of test. It is gritty. But it is not without beauty. Look where you are! Look what you have learned and seen and touched! The secret of the climb is expanding into it, accepting it, and reconnecting with your love for it all. Yes, it is hard, tiring and enormous, but it is a journey of love and goodness and even the effort is beautiful.

6. The Dragons: There are always dragons near the gate as you approach the final stage of your process. It suddenly becomes “impossible” to finish your degree, you cannot test for your credential, or the publisher who wooed you suddenly does not like your manuscript. These things are not happening because you were wrong or because you should not finish your process. They are happening because you are so close. These are the last nasty naysayers guarding the gate. Your job, like the characters in  fairy tales, is to know them for what they are, and to insist on proceeding anyway. The secret to the dragons is that even if you have decided you do not want the prize, the credential, the completion, you should cross the finish line anyway. When we are derailed by dragons, we will always be vulnerable to them. Defy them and you will be amazed at the way the Universe responds. There is a way. There is always a way.

7. The Clearing: The clearing is a place where you emerge into the light. You are no longer an initiate but have come into a place where you are truly and utterly connected with your path and your chosen work. An insult is not going to knock you out of the saddle anymore, a failure is not going to discourage you, nor is a great success going to fool you. There is a steadiness, and a deeply rooted joy found in the clearing. This is the point at which you feel you can truly be of help, because you have developed a steadiness, an ability to accept and stay present, and the awareness that this is not all about you – this is a shared miracle we are all struggling to discover together. The secret of the clearing is that acceptance, expansion and presence will carry you through whatever else comes and whatever else you seek to explore.

Once you have moved through these stages in one discipline, they become easier and more recognizable in others. If you are struggling with something you thought was your destiny, and you are getting beaten up or feeling you got it wrong, sit with these ideas in silence and try to identify where you may be on your journey. If you are feeling stuck, consider which of the taboos may be holding you back: your right to be powerful, your right to use your voice, your right to be real and live authentically, or your right to have needs and get them met. Often when it seems the Universe has blocked us, it is actually because we have unearthed an old taboo as we plant a new crop. Be gentle, be insistent, and don’t stop. You don’t have to know how to outsmart life, you simply need to be willing to proceed.

Good luck to you. Remember: Every good thing you think, feel or do, helps us all.

If you have a vision or dream that involves another person, should you tell them about it?

Many of my clients are sensitive people, highly intuitive, even psychic at times. The question inevitably arises: in the wake of a premonition about another, a warning dream, or what appears to be a message from spirit, should you tell the other person? What if they don’t believe in such things, and would be bothered or offended? What if that person tends toward anxiety, and your warning might send them into a tailspin?

This may seem like a trivial question: of course you will tell. Yet, there are times, people and situations that are not served by your report. I dream about my clients a great deal, and sometimes find that the dreams trace the shape of issues on the horizon. Over the years, I’ve developed a series of check points I use as a reference guide in determining when to share these intuitive impressions, and when to simply sit with them. If you find them useful, please add them to your own style of assessment.

1. WARNINGS: If the impression you have experienced is in the form of a warning, then be inclined toward making a report. You can always explain that you are uncertain whether the impression is meant for you, is symbolic, or whether in fact it is truly a warning for them. In the face of that uncertainty, you felt it best to share the impressions with them.

My experience is that in most cases the other person will dismiss the warning, yet will be better prepared for the eventuality, should it arise. So much of our communication and our preparation takes place on a subconscious level, that you will have helped the other person to have an advantage, should the hazard arise. In addition, you are always in the process of understanding and translating the meaning and implications of your impressions, so involving the other person allows you to have more feedback in the “real world” with which to assess and understand your own subtle awareness.

2. RELATIONSHIPS: When it comes to relationships, be prepared for all your impressions to be shot down summarily. It is almost no use pointing out to someone that they have become involved with a person who is unhealthy for them.

Whether you make this observation depends upon your assessment of how they will respond, whether it will cause an interruption (or end) of rapport, and whether they have reached a point of readiness for input. In most instances, it may be wisest to resist the temptation to report on your impressions, but instead to advise them to proceed with caution. One technique you may wish to try is to have a distant conversation, mind to mind, with them and speak to them in spirit about your concerns.  These unspoken conversations do have an effect. You are not trying to control their mind or their decisions, you are having a conversation that bypasses the hurtles of their conscious objections.

3. CAREER: Most of us bounce off the future that our friends and clients describe. Like an involuntary radar signal, a tiny shaft of your consciousness blips out in the future as a friend describes their interest in taking a job overseas. Immediately, you may get a strong impression or thought: “Well, that isn’t going to work out.” You may then quickly get a flash of the new job they are going to get, right here in their home town. Should you report what just happened in those few seconds while your friend was excitedly discussing the price of apartments in Paris? That is a tough call.

Unless an individual comes to you for intuitive input, is it right to splash their process with the product of your impressions? One solution is this: rather than tell them “what is going to happen” according to you, simply encourage them to follow their wisdom and their clarity. I often tell people to be prepared for a simple answer that has been right under their nose, and to trust themselves when they notice it. Very often I will hear back in short order that they have been offered something much better and more convenient closer to home. We cannot always know what others gain by going through the process of trying on a future and mapping it out, then choosing something altogether different. Sometimes that hypothetical journey was an important one, and short-circuiting it might not serve the highest good.

4. FILTERS: Regardless of whether you are working with a client, a friend, a colleague or family member, always remind them to run your impressions through their own filter of discernment. This is the fail-safe. Even those of us with a lot of experience can make mistakes as we translate our impressions or decipher our dreams. By offering what you have seen or felt to another, and reminding them to “filter it” with their own recognition of what is true for them, you uplift the exchange. You grant them spiritual respect and honor their expertise on their own life. Paradoxically, this spaciousness in your attitude will free up their perspective too. This tends to eliminate the battle of psychic wits to see “who is right” about the situation, and instead allows you both to watch, learn and respect the unfolding grace in life.

5. GET PRIOR PERMISSION: I work with an amazing clientele, and have astoundingly gifted friends and colleagues who work with the mysterious side of life all the time. In general, we have all agreed that if anyone among us has a vision or dream, a feeling of warning or an impression that feels important, we would wish to hear about it. We all feel capable of running such impressions through our own wisdom-filter, and standing fast with our truth. This arrangement or understanding has been invaluable. If you have a few friends who are gifted in these ways, take the time to tell them, before any visions have come, that you would welcome their impressions should this situation ever arise and inquire whether they, in turn, would wish the same.

Obviously, you can ask a person if they would wish to hear a dream or impression about their life when you have such an experience. This permission-seeking is good spiritual etiquette and there is nothing wrong with it. However, psychologically, the overwhelming tendency will be for the individual to say “yes, tell me,” when in fact they may not at all welcome the information. For this reason, I have found on-the-spot permission seeking to be a slightly hollow ritual, although it is better than not asking at all.

6. SIDE-STEP THRILLS: A final consideration is this – try to avoid the thrill of astounding revelations! Keep focused on kindness, respect and trusting others to find their way. In everything you do, everything you say or decide to sit with, you are voting for the health and fulfillment of those involved. As you consider each issue that arises, each person or question, always lean forward with the awareness that people are survivors, we are strong and full of grace, we discover the truth in the midst of lies and misdirection, and we crawl out of every cave and dark place into which we have been thrown. Your respect for this wisdom, strength and clarity is a more powerful gift than the insight you may be struggling with; be generous with that respect and trust the highest good to emerge with clarity and right-timing, in your life, and in the lives of those for whom you care.

Blessing Refused? Have you noticed that once in a while, you try to bless someone, pray for them, send them good wishes, or imagine a better outcome for them and you feel as if you have hit a brick wall? Those of us who meditate and pray regularly for others typically feel infused with joy, we see light pouring in, and can easily imagine healing and improvements in the lives of others. But when your blessing is refused, you may feel suddenly blank, dark and heavy, unable to “see” anything and even start to get a headache if you persist.

People Can Close Their Doors: This happens when the individual in question has closed the door, psychically, to any intrusion. We do have the ability to close the doors and shutters of our spirit, and if you conduct readings or healing for people, or work with a prayer list, you may encounter this sometimes.

What to Do: Here are a few suggestions if you encounter this bewildering phenomenon.

1. Respect the individual’s authority and privacy. Do not persist, once you recognize that the person has closed to your blessing. Let go.

2. Send them a message of respect and honor. Briefly, with the voice of your mind, just tell them you respect them, you respect their authority and you will honor their wishes.

3.  If you wish, you can create a time-capsule gift of energy for them. Imagine a box or a vessel, and pour into it the love, the good wishes, the peace of mind or the confidence you would wish for them, and wrap it up like a present. In your imagination, leave that gift for them outside their energy field, just nearby. If and when they open to receive, then this gift and the blessings it contains will come to them.

4. Send your blessing and prayer to their angel/guides, instead of to them. Simply speak in your mind to the angel/guides of the individual. Acknowledge your respect for the person’s authority and offer your love and blessing to the angel/guide to use to support and bless that person in whatever way is best for them. Give your blessing freely and without direction, simply as a spiritual gifting or “vote” for the best for that person. By sending your love, honor, and good wishes to Spirit to apply, you take yourself out of the loop of intending something for that person, and instead give without strings or thoughts attached.

Why Does This Happen? There are a few reasons why the conduit is closed.

Trespassers’ Halo Effect: You may be one of several people who have been “blocked” by this individual, on a level beneath their everyday consciousness. You may remind them of an abusive/intrusive family member – or you may be a family member, and they feel burned by intrusion and judgment by family. Although well meaning, you may have an opinion or view of them that impairs or distorts things so that the blessing cannot get to them. You may operate from a frequency to which they have polarized, and just as they are “reversed” to the flow of life itself, their frequency is in such contradiction to yours that they do not receive it.

Past Poison:  But most frequently, when there is a block set up to spiritual help, it has happened because the individual in question has been “over-helped” in the past. When help has been provided along with strings of control, toxic labeling, or defining and restricting of the recipient, that help can become spiritually poisonous. Although this takes place outside conscious awareness,  sometimes people who have been poisoned by help will set up a powerful spiritual barrier to rebuff intrusion, because intrusive help has all but destroyed them.

Even though you have no relationship to the poison that came their way in the past, your blessing for them, will “bounce” like a refused email when you try to send it. This person may be moving against the flow of life, out of the current, or they may simply be exercising their spiritual authority to keep out the intrusion that nearly choked them in the past.

If you believe this may be the case, then sending them respect and staying out of their field may be your greatest gift to them. It is said that even angels must wait to be invited into our lives, into our problems. If this is true, then it suggests that we are meant to have authority over our lives and our stories. When those boundaries have been violated spiritually, perhaps the greatest support and healing we can offer is to acknowledge individual “ownership” of the individual’s spiritual journey.

Try these techniques: sending respect instead of rescue, leaving a time-capsule gift of love, or sending your blessing to their angel/guides. You will likely feel a sense of peace and relief afterwards – and this “fresh air” in  spiritual practice is a good reminder that even as we extend good wishes to others, we must also extend respect.

Invisible Gifts

As a teacher I sometimes meet students who were told early in life that they were not bright, and who have lived much of their lives in that belief. When these folks study something for which they are well-suited that ignites their curiosity and their talents, they are astounded to discover that they are smart! I cannot count the number of times students have come up to me quietly and let me know they are blown away and grateful for the experience of discovering they are bright. This was one of the first things I noticed as a young teacher starting my career, the mass hallucination, as one woman put it, “of being a dummy.” When this idea sticks to the walls of your self-perception, it may take a powerful experience, or a dream, to crack the illusion.

This is one of the features of dreams that is most moving and important. We have accepted the labels, the definitions and the circumstantial experiences of others. Our dreams actually try to wake us up in life, and help us to recognize that those shiny pieces of glass around the house are actually diamonds.

What your dreams might say: If you can’t see your own gifts, you may have dreams of discovering treasures, finding valuables or money, being called upon to land a jet when the pilot passes out, or stop the runaway train because there is no one else available to take action. Being forced into heroism, discovering treasure, and noticing new or special abilities (such as flying or swimming) are often reflections of giftedness and goodness.

Pay attention to your dreams and to the clues they provide about your inner beauty, strength, goodness and talent. These clues are there, every night!

(Excerpted from: The Complete Dream Book of Love and Relationships).

When I was ten to twelve, my best friend was a wild woman in the making. I was studious,  shy and obedient. My friend Peggy was rascally and outgoing. She would think up marginally disastrous adventures for us and then, when everything went sideways, I would manage the getting-us-out-of-hot water part. I was, even in those early years, something of a designated driver.

One of the wild schemes Peggy came up with was a fascination with martial arts. “We should learn karate!” She announced one day. I instantly saw the wisdom of this decision, because I was a huge fan of Dianna Rigg, who immortalized the role of Emma Peele on the television series The Avengers.  Emma Peele karate-chopped her way through many a villain, with style and a killer jumpsuit. It would be so cool to elegantly karate-chop people in the neck if they messed with me; what more really, would I need in life?

A martial arts academy was found, and lessons scheduled. Then, at the final hour, Peggy bailed out! She has a sore something-or-other and decided that karate lessons would be too much for her. I could scarcely believe it. I, so unsure of myself as to be almost translucent, would be taking private karate lessons without the rowdy spirit who had gotten me into this mess. It was far too late to back down and I decided to pretend to like it, no matter what. The strange thing was, I did like it, immediately. Martial arts made intuitive sense and even the roughest moves seemed oddly familiar. From the first lesson, it was as if I was remembering something I already knew how to do. From 12 to 30, training and teaching martial arts was a big part of my life, and it was of course my first area of exploring consciousness studies as well as comparative religion. In retrospect, the whole thing was meant to be. But it was as if the Universe tricked me into the course of study. I was lured into it by my friend who all but vanished at the threshold to the studio door.

Stories like this one fascinate me, as many times we find our important “next step” on the path through being misled, tricked, or lured into helping out. It is a Divine Ruse, to get us to encounter our destiny. Generally, the trick takes place because the “next step” is something we would never have come to on our own.

Look back on your life, and you will see a corner or two, that you turned because something unexpected happened and you got tricked into growing, into taking charge, or stepping into the limelight.

Now look at your life today. Because here is the thing about the Divine Ruse:  It is always happening. You are always getting tricked into a larger, richer, more luminous version of yourself. It is the speech you do not want to give, but you must cover for a sick colleague. It is the blind date you dread, but can’t refuse because your best friend set it up.  It is the pet you take in, just for a few days while you search for the owner or a permanent home.  You are being lured into the next step of your adventure, your next lessons in love, and initiation of power even now. Cast your memory back to the strange crossings in your life, and give the stretch of road you’re on now the benefit of the doubt! Sometimes we are more brave and more matter-of-fact when we do not realize the magnitude of the moment. Trust in the beauty of your story, and the firmness of your step.

I once was about to sell one of my favorite horses to a young couple who seemed to really like him. He is a challenging horse, and one who is not talented in the ways that I ride, yet who has a lot of potential for other styles of riding. It was difficult to part with him, and so I kept asking my guides, my higher self, the Universe, to give me a sign if I was not supposed to do this. As the time grew near to firm up the deal, I continued to have mixed feelings about the sale. Yet, everything I knew about the couple seemed all right, they were very friendly and seemed to know a lot about horses. The man in particular seemed in love with the horse, who is spectacularly beautiful and charismatic.

One night, I had a dream that was I sitting with the couple and we had shared a meal in a party atmosphere. During the time after the meal, we got out the paperwork to sign over ownership of the horse. Just then, a napkin from the party floated into the air and unfurled into a long streamer, like the message inside a fortune cookie, but much larger. On the message were the words: “Do not trust, do not do it.” I awoke from the dream with the sign I had asked for: nothing could have been plainer. Something was very wrong, and I should not trust the appearance of the situation, nor should I sell the horse to the couple. I simply told them that I could not bear to part with the horse after all, and apologized for backing out of our expected sale.

Shortly afterward, the couple began to have difficulty in their marriage, their business destabilized and they fought long, loudly and hysterically in our circle; to our surprise, drugs and alcohol were a problem for each of them. They divorced and went their separate ways, without the means to keep their horses. Had I sold my gelding to them, he would have gone on the market shortly thereafter and probably have gone piller-to-post because he can be a challenge to work with. I was so thankful that my dream gave me a clear, unmistakable sign on the decision I had been struggling with. How had my dream anticipated a situation that only emerged a month or two afterward?

It is unclear how some dreams appear to anticipate future events with such precision. Fortunately, we don’t have to understand the mechanism by which guidance and intuition work, in order to take advantage of those gifts.

How to Ask for a Sign: I am blessed with friends and clients who are very mystical and spiritual, as well as friends and clients who are non-believers. But anyone can ask for a sign from their own intuition, their own brilliant sanity.

1. Ask for clarification: Ask for a sign, a circumstance, or a dream to clarify your knowing. You may observe an event happening to others which precisely illustrates a telling point about your own question. You may watch a movie or hear a song that “says” something you needed to hear. You may have  a dream that drives home a truth you already knew, but have been wavering about.

2. Ask to see or hear what is missing: When we get into a loop of “what should I do?” we tend to stay in that loop, because it is energized by the fear of making a mistake. Asking “what should I do?” is energetically an affirmation of being untrustworthy to do the right thing. Notice how you feel when you ask that question, or a similar one. If you feel more panicky, more desperate, and get no sense of your own knowing, this is a sign that the question itself is not good for you in this instance.

3. The request to be shown a sign is a good one: Although it may seem flaky to my scientific friends, asking to be shown a sign is a powerful request. It is asking to be aware enough to see and recognize a signal that reminds you of what is most important to you, to remind you of who you are, and finally to remind you of what criteria are most relevant in this context. The “sign” does not necessarily make up your mind for you, it is actually offering a reference point in the landscape of your present situation, by which you will be reminded that it is your mind and your preference which should be considered.

When we are overwhelmed by uncertainty, it is often because we are trying to choose between the reasonable choice and the choice that feels a match with the Self. When we conduct research to learn more about the predicament, we find data that supports the reasoned choice, but that, of course, does not eliminate the sense of unbearable wrongness to the Self. So that kind of data, even mountains of it, does nothing to resolve our discomfort; it only makes it worse.

When you ask for a sign, you are opening to a level of information, insight, clarity and knowing that pertains to the Self. This type of data, although obtained through coincidence, dreams, feelings, or inner knowing, is likely to be far more relevant and to provide peace and closure,because it pertains to what is right for you, not what would be reasonable for another person in similar circumstances.

So ask for a sign, ask for input, ask to be aware, to dream, and to connect with your knowing. Be open to the awareness that what is right for you is what is important here, and sometimes “a sign” is a vital signal that reminds you to honor and abide by what is the right choice for you.

If you are wrestling with an important decision, and feel you have been dreaming about it, yet need support in unraveling the meaning level of your dreams, I would be happy to help. Please write to me about your situation, (gholloway@lifetreks.com) or click the link below to register for a private consultation. Good luck to you!

Let’s see if I’ve got this straight: We’re supposed to follow our bliss, live our passion, go with the flow and be unstoppable. Sort of a cross between Chuck Norris and Gandhi, a gritty, enlightened force of nature. Because, when you’re doing what you’re meant to do, everything will fall into place, right?

Goodness, positive-thinking, and hard work notwithstanding, there’s something wrong with this picture. Sometimes the Universe does seem to open all doors at once, and other times  the work we feel called to do is surrounded by crocodiles. It is loaded down with a particular challenge that makes it seem impossible, even crazy, to consider. What is going on? This question arises frequently with my clients and students.

The finest teaching I’ve found on this subject is a mystic legend that describes how we come to Earth. This legend seems to match many life stories. See how it resonates with your experience. If you sometimes feel your purpose is surrounded by broken glass, this may explain why.

The Legend: When we are about to come to Earth, we come with a purpose.  When we live our lives, this purpose pulsates through us, though we cannot remember it or give it a name; it draws us in the direction of our destiny. This purpose is one of the main ingredients in your life. Wrapped around it, like bread around a sandwich, are difficulties:  personality traits, fears, life conditions that make your purpose seem invisible, improbable and even at times impossible. Everyone’s destiny sandwich is part purpose and part impediment. That is the design. That is the sacred dare we set for ourselves before we come. It will seem as if the thing we must do, is the one thing we simply cannot do because of ironic circumstances.  Knowing we will have no memory of this plan when we arrive, we dare ourselves to figure this out, to solve the puzzle and to brave the challenge. Then we jump to Earth with only our feelings and our courage to help us navigate.

The purpose is connected to your talents, gifts, heart and soul. The challenge is personalized, exquisitely tailored to be  frightening to the core, and basically a huge nuisance. This is not necessarily a universal bugaboo; it is custom made just for you! So you can tell your friends or your therapist, and they will say bracingly: “Just get on with it!” But it isn’t like that for you, because the bugaboo was designed to be a tough one, something that truly gives you pause.

So this is the legend of how life is set up for us. We get our purpose and our befuddlement surrounding it, and we take our parachute and leap into life.

Is it real? I have no idea if this is actually how we come to Earth. But I do find that the principle is profound. The musician has stage fright, the public speaker is shy, the healer loves people but is afraid of them, the teacher who adores kids doesn’t do so well with parents, and so on.

What is your sandwich like? So what is your quest and your bugaboo? How are they linked? Are you a genius who is a poor student? A flight attendant who is afraid of heights? A songwriter who cannot sing? A dancer who is too tall? A tour guide who is blind?

Almost everyone who is doing something they find fulfilling also had good reason to back off. Don’t back off. Don’t assume that the purpose of your bugaboo is truly to block your fulfillment. Perhaps it is part of your life plan, goading you to discover the endless courage in your heart and the vast spaciousness of your spirit. Compromise, adjust, restructure, even redesign. As you continue to choose purpose in whatever ways make sense to you, your bugaboo may become a sort of friendly enemy, like a familiar broken-down gunfighter in an old Western, more specter than substance, not so much a cause for alarm as a reminder of your  guts, your history and your journey.

Want to fall asleep quickly and have beautiful dreams? Here’s a little technique to help you get to sleep and start out with an interesting dream.

Focus on finding your dreams: As you get into your “fall asleep” position, turn your mind toward an activity you enjoy and know well, which has the effect of making you feel free. Engage in that activity, in your imagination. The prep, the outfit, the equipment, the environment. Let yourself “be there” more and more. If you practice this each night for a few weeks, you’ll soon have trained yourself to set off and find your dreams very quickly – without going through the machinations of trying to fall asleep. There are a number of ways to do this technique, to make it your own.

Take a ride: I ride horses, so my best dreamfinder technique is saddling a particular horse I love and riding off on him taking an imaginary trail. Because this is an imaginary ride, sometimes I choose to ride without a saddle or bridle, just the horse and I, through the woods and down the hill. By the time we get halfway down the hill, I usually start meeting interesting characters and having little adventures, because of course, by then I am asleep and have begun dreaming. I also sometimes ride an elephant or a camel, in an exotic land, and have sometimes imagined riding on the back of a large flying eagle at dusk, swooping through the darkening sky. Some of my clients simply walk down a beautiful path in nature, or ride a bicycle which requires no effort. The path, walk or ride, can be anything you find soothing and engrossing, so that you are pulled into it, and have lost all interest in whether you are awake or asleep.

Sail off into dreams: One man who loves to sail uses his boat and preparations to embark into his dreams. By the time he has gotten the sails ready and the boat ready, he pushes off and soon is having unexpected dream adventures, having fallen asleep along the way.

Create a dream portal: Some clients say they like to create an idyllic setting in nature, or in a beautiful temple of some kind, which they design and decorate with everything that could make them comfortable. When they wish to find their dreams, they simply relax and enter their created portal area and soon they have slipped into their dreams.

Repetition makes it work: It seems to be useful to repeat this process a number of times, but with a very light touch and a lack of concern about whether it is “working” or you are awake or asleep yet. It is the letting go, the moving into your imagination with the expectation of finding your dreams that seems to make this so easy, and often so transcendent of circumstance. You can be grumpy, upset, over-tired, wound up, worried and so on, but if you have practice your dreamfinder, you can still enter it very quickly and then slip into your dreams in a very soothing way.

Finding your dreams is the adventure: It also seems useful to frame the process, not as “falling asleep” but as “finding your dreams.” Try on the notion that you have beautiful, useful, healing and inspiring dreams very near you, simply on a slightly different wavelength. When you move into a sleep state, you “find” those dreams, discover just over the next rise, or unfolding on the other side of the lake.

Your companion or device may travel with you: If you use a companion in your dreamfinder, as I use my horse, you may find that this creature stays with you throughout the rest of your dream. It is all right though, in the way of dreams, to take a camel to your high school graduation, or ride an elephant into the board meeting.

Be specific and take this seriously: Be cautious to use your dreamfinder only when you wish to go to sleep; do not use this particular scenario when you wish to meditate and stay awake. You will be able to meditate in your usual way and stay awake as long as you only use the dreamfinder when you wish to slip into sleep or into a semi-conscious state. Because the effect seems to pull us into another realm, this is something that may help you if you have to undergo a procedure or wish to “leave your body” for a bit. I do have clients who use their dreamfinder if they have to visit the dentist or undergo an MRI, because it allows them to “slip away” in consciousness and experience much less of the procedure they find bothersome.

Use a light touch with your dreamfinder, and choose something you find so enjoyable that practicing it will be a real treat.

If you see me in your dreams riding a big, black-and-white horse, don’t give it a second thought.

Have you ever felt “something coming” your way? Like a breeze moving through your body, a positive change or person enters your life.

Conversely, people have told me stories of physically feeling a threat or danger  rushing toward them, moments before an accident or a near-miss. What is this process in our bodies that knows what is barreling toward us, before we do? Many researchers refer to this as Kinesthetic Intuition: a bodily awareness that precedes cognitive thought.

Stay, don’t go: One man told me of sitting in his car at a red light and when the light turned green, he went to step on the gas, but something stopped him, a momentary sense of unease kept him still, sitting at the green light. This man is an extreme type A who screams at his microwave to hurry up; not someone who spaces out at a green light. In what seemed like a split second, another driver on the cross street ran their red light at very high speed, blasting through the intersection this man would have been driving across had he timed his movement according to the light, instead of by his feeling of unease. This man believes he may be alive today because he instinctively waited when it felt “wrong” to proceed through that green light. Sometimes our body signals are so subtle and unexpected, all we can sense is a broad signal of something being “off,” wrong or dangerous.

This is the stalker: One woman was being harassed by obscene phone calls (before the advent of caller ID and technology might have helped her out.) She felt something familiar about the voice on the phone, but was not sure what it meant. One evening at a party, her friends introduced her to a mutual friend and she shook his hand in greeting. As she grasped her hand, she “heard” the voice of the obscene caller in her mind. She looked into his face in shock and felt a quiver of revulsion run through her body. This was the caller. She could not explain how she knew, but it was as if her body recognized him. He had barely said “Hey” in greeting, lost in the babble of party noise, so it was very unlikely she recognized his voice audibly in that instant. She pulled her hand away and took a step back, swallowing to regain her composure. The man then colored slightly, as if he were blushing. A roommate of a friend of hers, this young man had apparently fixated on her when he saw her with friends and had gotten hold of her phone number somehow. Interestingly, after that revelatory moment at the party, she never received another of the obscene calls. It was very much as if the man had recognized or sensed her knowing in that instant, and had realized he could no longer stalk her with impunity.

The missing child: A police officer told the story of attending a training in which the senior officer stressed the importance of what they called a “gut check.” This female officer had been searching for a missing child, interviewing suspects along the area where they suspected the child might be. As she talked with a particularly nervous man, she glanced at his car, and then her eyes were drawn specifically to the trunk. For whatever reason, she felt so nauseated, she thought for a moment she might vomit. Having her partner stay with the man, taking a deep breath to fight down the nausea, she got open the trunk. There, bound but still alive, was the little boy. It was as if her body knew the little boy was in that trunk, and she received the full blast of horror and disgust before she could have known it cognitively. Her body knew first, and it actually informed her mind in a way that she could not ignore.

It is not judgmental to stay tuned to your body: The signals of Kinesthetic Intuition appear to be fairly broad: we feel safe or unsafe, positive or negative. Those of us on a growth path spiritually or psychologically may worry that such broad determinations are judgmental or superficial. Yet it is very likely that part of this Kinesthetic Intuition is biological and hard-wired, something nature has developed in us so that we might have a better chance for survival in those split seconds before a life-threatening event, or that we might, for example, locate food or water in a survival situation, or take action in time to protect our family or our home.

Trust your body: From the research with athletes, firefighters, mothers of young children, martial artists and others who seem to have heightened Kinesthetic Intuition, we know that trusting your body’s wisdom, it’s ability to detect information, is an integral part of this astounding function. Individuals who are regularly in a position where they must trust their bodily instinct seem to hone and amplify their signals and build a bridge between their thought processes and the “intelligence” of their bodily sensations.

Exercise: my body knows: If you are not a professional athlete or firefighter, you can still accentuate your connection with Kinesthetic Intuition by affirming its existence and pausing to check in with your body. When you are forced to make a decision based on too little objective information, simply state to yourself: “My body knows,” or “my body already knows the truth of this situation.” Then, pause to check in and note what sensations you may have, what flickers of awareness may ripple through you, or whether you feel positive or dubious about the situation. Don’t over-charge this situation by assuming you will make dramatic decisions based solely on your sensations, but do add the information your body gives you to the cluster of considerations and evidence you are considering. Put your intuitive findings on the table, along with all your other considerations and give them your respect and attention. Whether you are trying to discover a food sensitivity, or considering a career move across the globe, your body has information that may not have registered yet in your mind, and adding that information to the mix can only help you make a wiser and more personally authentic decision.

Good luck with your intuition. Trust your knowing and be kind to yourself.